THE WALKING DEAD -- SEASON 4, EPISODE 16 REVIEW

Written by Federico D.

I always keep a notebook nearby whenever I watch a show, in case I want to review it. However, last night, I barely wrote anything, mesmerized as I watched The Walking Dead season 4 finale entitled “A”. Terminus was supposed to be a “sanctuary” for all. Even I had packed a couple of Capri Sun’s and Salt and Vinegar chips, set to leave my home for Terminus if my wife continued to eat our entire supply of Coco Puffs. But after seeing Rick, Carl, Daryl and Michonne combatting the occupants of Terminus, I chose to endure my wife’s crunches and the precious 2% milk dripping from her lip to our carpet.

Before jumping into the Terminus fight, let me back track to Rick biting a chunk out of Joe’s neck. Yes, I know you saw it, too. Every time I see someone bite someone else, I call the biter a Wachootoo. So upon seeing Rick bite Joe to save his son, Carl, I said to my wife, “I didn’t know Rick was a Wachootoo.” You, as Jim Carrey discovered in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, will come to find that “The Wachootoo’s were biters.” Ace Ventura proclaimed this during a hilarious fight with a Wachootoo. I was a wee little boy when I saw this, but it stuck with me ever since. Therefore, Rick is a Wachootoo. Watch Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls if you don’t believe me.

While you watch it, keep all the “bitees” in your prayers. No one deserves to be bitten. Personally, I liked “bitee” Joe. I know he was a slightly carefree leader in The Walking Dead universe, and his system didn’t always make since; but at least he had a system. On top of that, he was a great tracker. I didn’t even know he was tracking Rick. He held casual conversations and laughed with people, all while tracking the person who killed his crew member. If I had that skill, I’d stalk random people to grocery stores and bring them one thing on their shopping list like I’m the omniscient God. Wouldn’t that be freaky? Some stranger brings you Smucker’s Natural Chunky peanut butter then disappears. You’d tremble as you scratch the third thing off your list.

Let’s leave the grocery store and go back to Terminus where they are offering free plates of food. First and foremost, I don’t accept a plate of food from someone’s hands as soon as I walk into a party. Another person could have sneezed on it, or you could have sprinkled some crack on it, trying to incriminate me, man. So here are the rules: Let me see the kitchen first or at least another person that I trust cooking your food. Rick must have known the rules because he kept a sharp eye on everything and everyone. He even spotted a weird bulge in a guy’s pocket. It wasn’t the kind of bulge you’re thinking of with your dirty mind. It was the kind of bulge that made Rick swing his gun out and shove it into the guy’s face. He reached into the pocket and pulled out Hershel’s watch.

Honestly, I forgot about the watch Hershel had given Glenn. I didn’t know what Rick was upset about until my wife pointed out the random girl wearing Maggie’s poncho like it was “wear your hostage’s clothes to work” day. Rick realized that they had stolen Hershel’s watch from one of his crew members, meaning his members were dead or alive in Terminus somewhere. Unfortunately, you know what happens when a gun is drawn and the person you draw the gun on has friends with guns. Either there’s a moment where no shots are fired—or thousands of shots are fired.

Rick and the others fired back as they raced for a place to retreat. Everyone was on edge, even me as I watched my wife pour the last bit of Coco Puffs into her bowl, refusing to just drink the leftover milk and leave the Coco Puffs for someone more deserving—someone like me. Anyway, the attackers surround Rick and the others and order them into a train car, where Rick meets a “poncholess” Maggie and the rest of the crew. Rick reassures everyone that the people of Terminus “don’t know who they are messing with.”

In this season finale, I felt Rick come alive. I heard Pharrell’s “Happy” song blasting from Rick’s head as he killed. I wonder if Pharrell is still making music in the Zombie Apocalypse or if he’s a walker. I’ll Google it. Still, even if Pharrell isn’t there (although I don’t know why he would be), I’m looking forward to Season 5 of The Walking Dead this fall. Until then, don’t go out there and become a Wachootoo; find out if she likes it that way first. That’s the only reason I became a Wachootoo.

What did you guys think about the season finale of The Walking Dead?